7 DESIRES OF THE HEART
The Hidden Key to Your Biggest Growth Breakthrough
What if I told you that whether you’re working on self-empowerment, mindset, relationships, or communication, the greatest expansion happens when you finally understand your heart’s deepest desires and unmet needs?
Every human operates from a core set of needs. The way we talk, love, parent, work, and even the conflicts we engage in—are all shaped by our subconscious attempts to fulfill those needs.
A Story You Might Relate To…
Imagine you’re meeting a friend for coffee, and they show up fifteen minutes late. You’re fuming.
"They don’t respect my time. If they cared, they’d be here on time."
By the time they arrive, you let them have it.
But instead of apologizing, your friend snaps back:
"You’re so selfish! You have no idea what I’ve been dealing with."
What happened here? Beneath your anger was the need to be chosen and prioritized. Beneath their defensiveness was the need to be heard and understood.
When we don’t recognize our core needs, we act out in ways that sabotage our relationships, our success, and our own peace. But when we do? Everything shifts.
The 7 Core Needs That Secretly Shape Your Life
Psychologists, including Drs. Lasser, have studied these universal human desires, and understanding them is the key to breaking toxic patterns and reclaiming your power.
To Be Heard & Understood – You struggle when people don’t acknowledge your thoughts or emotions, often leading to frustration or conflict.
To Be Affirmed – You seek validation through accomplishments, fearing failure or rejection.
To Be Blessed – You long to be loved for who you are, not just what you do. Without this, you feel unworthy or stuck.
To Be Safe – You struggle with uncertainty and may overthink, micromanage, or avoid risk.
To Be Touched – Whether through physical affection or emotional closeness, lack of this need can create disconnection or loneliness.
To Be Chosen – When this need isn’t met, you may overextend yourself, seek external approval, or self-sabotage.
To Be Included – A deep desire for belonging, often causing you to shape-shift or overcommit just to fit in.
How to Apply This Today
Want to uncover which of these needs is driving your behavior? Try this:
For the next week, journal every time you feel frustrated, rejected, or unfulfilled. Ask yourself: What deeper need is underneath this feeling?
Observe how this need has shaped your past choices—in relationships, career, and self-worth.
Explore how you can start fulfilling this need in a healthy way—without seeking external validation.
