WHY THE BUBBLE BATH DIDN’T WORK?

Why do we need self-care?

The market is flooded with self-care products and literature… but they usually represent outside care, which is an important component - you care about something you take care of it. 

But does this answer what we said self-care is? When do I see an effect? How long will that effect usually last? 

As a Life Guidance coach & healer, I guide women to empower themselves and find healing and balance with their mind-body-energy. The top reasons people come to me for help are stress/anxiety, seasonal/acute depression & even “anger” aka mood swings. I want to share with you a few components that will help us receive a deeper form of self-care (to use in addition to the surface self-care) and also teach you three techniques that will immediately reduce your stress that you can do anywhere & at any time. 

Using Mindfulness In Self-Care

As a guide certified in Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction techniques, I was excited that mindfulness is having a moment! However, most are using it to explain how we should go slower and become more present now. 

• But how do we remain present in those moments that are unpleasant? 

• Am I supposed to enjoy & be present in stressful moments? 

• How? 

The healing self-care aspect of mindfulness is all about becoming able to lean into the discomfort and ride the waves of expansion and contraction through life. When we practice it, we are helping our bodies learn how to slow down, process & release. 

Eventually, slowing down those flashfloods of stress hormones that course through our bodies becomes a gentle signal of when it is time to “stop and do nothing” or “stand up and shift”.

Mindsets That Develop Mindful Self-care

These are narratives of how we talk to ourselves. They usually take on the role of “judge” or “victim”. They shape who we are, how we see ourselves, and how we present to others. 

• Shifting the “set in stone” narratives by listening patiently to our old way of thinking & then reframing them to represent ones of growth.

  • Judge to Discernment (e.g., “I’m always late!” -> “I am working on figuring out my schedule better”)

  • Victim to Compassion (e.g., “This always happens to me.” -> “I am learning to trust myself & find safer (friends/environments).”)

    • Cloak yourself in patience as these mindsets take time to change. 

There are 9 mindful attributes that offer us a gentler lens through which to view life situations. This will help us cultivate our mindset language to allow growth and expansion for deeper self-care:

Beginner’s Mind

Free yourself from past bias & get curious

Trust & Patience

Have faith in your own experience & intuition.  Things unfold at their own pace

Accept & Let Go

Reduce energy input of should of, could of, would of - there is no particular way it should go

Non-striving & Non-judgment

Create space for things as they are. Break out of your habitual thinking

Gratitude and Gratefulness 

Embracing life regardless of the outcome.  Thankful for the good things that happen

Processing Stress Mindfully For Self-care

A large contributing factor to the increased presence of stress hormones in our bodies is our inability to be in the present moment. It is often said, “Where attention goes, energy flows”. 

But are we supposed to ignore the unpleasant thing pulling our attention? If so, for how long? 

Mindfulness is about paying attention to our body’s somatic responses that indicate stress like a smoke alarm going off. We are not trying to get rid of stress, we are paying attention and learning when to change the batteries. 

• Amygdala 

  • This is the part of our brain responsible for sending the “fight, flight, or freeze” responses. (Aka the “smoke alarm”)

• Frontal lobe. 

  • This is the part of our brain responsible for our cognitive functions. (Aka “time to change the batteries”)

Mindfulness has been clinically studied to help reduce our amygdala’s tendency to flood our body by strengthening our frontal lobe’s ability. To put it simply, reduces our stress.

3 techniques that help break the rumination thought spiral, giving us immediate stress reduction with a cumulative benefit.

• 3 Breaths 

  • In through the nose & out the mouth. Avoiding a chest inhalation because this mimics an anxiety attack.

    • 1st breath helps Release the response

    • 2nd breath brings us Present to our breath

    • 3rd breath helps us Receive the message of what we should do, shift, or observe.

• 1-minute Nature Stare

  • Bonus for time barefoot because this has been shown to give us better sleep & reduced pain sensations

  • Faux plants have a similar effect

• Body Awareness Shift

  • During a stressful situation start to think about your left pinky toe and all the sensations that surround it. This helps you to divert your thoughts away from agonizing over the future possibilities &/or ruminating about the “should’ve/could’ve/would’ve’s”

If you are breathing, you are doing more right than wrong. It means there is another opportunity for you to try & shift.

Ready to dive deeper into finding your way? Learn more about my Coaching Calls